Beautiful In My eyes Teaser

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Friday, November 30, 2012

Being Your Own Kind of Beautiful Excerpt: Your Thoughts

As a man thinketh . . .
There is a phrase that says, “What we think about, we bring about.” If we only dwell on the negative things in life instead the positive ones, we will surely bring ourselves down, because while positive thinking brightens my outlook and makes us feel good, negativity drains our energy and brings us down. Yes, there are a lot of terrible things going on in the world and our country is steadily sliding downward, but there is still so much good, and so much good we can bring to the world. We only need to synchronize our thoughts and actions and do what we can to make things happen.
Since we are all here for a reason, it is up to us to determine how we will spend our time in this life. If we are striving to embrace the good in life, we will make the world better because we are here. When we will truly know who we are and know our worth, our making the world better is automatic.

Request a free copy of the complete booklet: jewela40@gmail.com
Have a beautiful day!

Monday, November 5, 2012

Being Your Own Kind of Beautiful Excerpt: Judging

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”
Roald Dahl

Booklet Excerpt
Judging.
Have you ever looked at parents with troubled children going astray and thought, “I wonder what they did or didn't do?” Or, “What kind of parents would let that happen?” Or here's the big one: “Boy, I sure wouldn't let my kids do that.”
Once upon a time I thought that way, but not anymore. Do you know why? Because I have learned you don't judge someone or a situation you know nothing about. I have learned this, and I have the scars to prove it. Some of those scars have healed, and some are still open because of ongoing lessons.
What about a successful couple that have been married for years and they have no children? Some would assume the couple have chosen not to have children because of selfishness, but in fact, the couple may not be able to have children. This could be their major trial and here we are, judging them.
Or, there is my case. We have eight children. Some may judge my husband and I and think we have too many. They may say it is because of people like us that the world is “overpopulated.” We are the reason the earth's resources are depleting. Have you ever heard anything so dumb? The only resources I ever see depleting are the groceries in our fridge and pantry.
We don't know what goes on in the homes of others. When don't know what others are dealing with in their lives. We also don't know what others are dealing with emotionally. We don't know any of these things . . . but God knows.
And suppose we really do know about others? Suppose we have even witnessed some poor choices of others. It is still not our place to judge. Judge between right and wrong, yes, but judging others? No. and if we truly know who we are, we won't feel a need to be judgmental. When you truly know who you are, you feel sorrow and empathy for others, yet steer clear of judgmental thoughts.
For a free copy of the complete ebooklet, email me at jewela40@gmail.com

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Being Your Own Kind of Beautiful Excerpt: Choice

Now I would like to share another excerpt from Being Your Own Kind of Beautiful that I hope will help bring us closer to knowing who we are and our worth:-)

Understanding Choice
To quote a line from one of my books: “It is a fickle thing, this word choice. For upon this word sits all others. Upon this act sits every consequence. Upon it is the vast and unknown fate of all things decided.” When I tried to come up with a couple of sentences that would completely encompass the word, this was the inspiration I received. Because truthfully, every single thing we do in life hinges on that one word.
We can choose our actions, but not the consequences. Even when we are going through trials, we still have choices. Sometimes our choices are poor, and sometimes choices are inflicted upon us and are beyond our control, but as I said, how we let the trials affect us sometimes determines the value we place upon ourselves.
Here is an example for you:
My step-father sexually molested me from the age of six until eleven. Every time he entered my room and defiled me, he made me think I was only going to be good for one thing in this world, and that thing was the thing he was doing to me.

Now, picture a new white canvas, completely pristine and ready for the painter's first brush stroke. Each time I was abused, a stroke of dark color was painted on the canvas. Each time he subjected me to pornography to make me believe what I saw before me was what I was supposed to willingly do, another dark stroke appeared. Soon the picture began to take on a gruesome image–the image my abuser wanted me to see–that I was worthless and created for that life.
As I got older, I made choices that added different dark hues to the canvas. I got married at sixteen to someone I didn't love, just to escape home. I became a widow at eighteen when he drowned while swimming, and with the insurance money came the start of my drug and alcohol addiction, as well as my complete loss of self-respect–marrying again without love, and then binging, sleeping around, waking up next to strangers and not even remembering how I got there. How do you think my canvas looked by then? What kind of picture did it show? It showed exactly what my step-father wanted it to show. I was good for one thing . . . but I allowed myself to be painted that way. Remember Joe's words to Mia? “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Well, guess what? I consented. I wasn't strong enough to fight it, because I did not know who I was.

When a painter finishes one picture, what does he do? Does he stop painting? Does he say, “That's it, I'm done?” No. He pulls out a clean canvas and creates a new one. As my choices began to change, a new painting was started, with brighter, bolder colors. Each stroke of these new colors contributed to the beautiful painting emerging. I was finally beginning to learn who I was– who I have always been.
Each of us is still a work in progress, and some paintings are further along than others, but as long as we let God wield the brush, we are guaranteed to be a beautifully-finished product.

Email me at jewela40@gmail.com for a free copy of the ebooklet!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Introducing- Being Your Own Kind of Beautiful

Yes, I've finally finished Being Your Own Kind of Beautiful, a booklet I wrote especially for women. Too often we forget how amazing we really are and how much we are valued, not in the eyes of the world, but in the eyes of God. I hope this booklet will touch us all in some way and help us remember.
Over the next while, I will be posting excerpts from the booklet. If you would like a free copy of the ebook, email your request to jewela40@gmail.com and I will send you one. feel free to share it with family and friends:-)

Excerpt
Perception: To become aware of directly through any of the senses, especially sight or hearing. The way in which something is regarded, understood, or interpreted.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.”
Audrey Hepburn

How many of us truly know who we are? How many of us love ourselves? How many of us stand in front of the mirror once a day and say, “Man, I'm beautiful? I'm amazing! I'm smart, funny, and a good person. I'm the total package, baby!
I have two daughters and two sons who do this everyday. I call it the Gaston complex. And you know what? There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, because they know who they are. We should all take the time to do this. It does amazing things for your self-esteem.
Too many of us don't understand our worth–not the world's superficial idea of worth, but God's. The key to truly understanding our worth encompasses different things, and none of them can be left out.
One of my favorite movie quotes is from The Princess Diaries. When Mia has to deal with her neurotic friend's opinion of the changes in her appearance, Joe shares with her a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt:
No one can make you inferior without your consent.
Brilliant, isn't it? Completely brilliant! Because never has there been a truer statement. If the opinions of others bring us down, it is because we allow it to. The only opinion that matters should be God's.

So why do we let the world determine our worth? Why do we allow our value to be deemed by an increasingly-growing Godless society? Why do we value and try to conform to the masses instead of recognizing our worth in God's eyes and placing importance on his opinion?
The world doesn't know us . . . but God does. The world doesn't care what is inside us, or what we deal with daily. The world doesn't know our hopes, dreams, fears, or what touches us deep . . . but Heavenly Father and His Son do. The world has no clue what is important to me or you. It couldn't care less. However, the world does try to dictate what beauty is. We are made to believe we have to be a certain size and dress a certain way to be beautiful. The world brainwashes women, and then counsels us to conform and do whatever it takes to sell that worldly image, in which case the world then sells us out. Then it abandons us, and what happens to our real selves then? We become so lost, we can't even find our real selves anymore, because we lose sight and have no clue what is real.
Store magazine racks are full of perfect photos of women that are not real. We know this, yet we still fall into the money trap, and believe me it is all about money. The more women these advertisers can get to believe their product can make them beautiful, the more money they pocket. They don't want us to be confident. They try to convince us our looks are more important than anything, so they bombard us with photos of perfect-looking women. With a little air-brushing and retouching, anyone can look perfect. The keyword is look perfect. These advertising companies use Photoshop on a regular basis and they are pros at the art of deception.
Many of us have daughters, and we don't realize that when we obsess over weight and looks, these impressionable young women will follow our example. They will never be content with themselves.
Actress, Kate Winslet has always been outspoken about Hollywood dictating the perfect weight and she refuses to conform. When a British magazine digitally enhanced her photo to make her look thinner, she issued an official statement saying: “I don't look like that, and more importantly, I don't desire to look like that. I can tell you they reduced the size of my legs by a third.”
The world has conditioned us to hate our bodies. How many of us are actually satisfied and happy with our looks? Not many. Once a woman gets in a mindset where she is disgusted with her body, eating disorders are just around the corner. There are even websites now that teach people how to become anorexic. They teach you how to binge and purge, and offer ideas on how to keep losing weight. It is sick and wrong.
Every woman's body shape and features are different, especially when it comes to ethnicity. When I was younger, I dreamed of one day looking like Wonder Woman because she was my idea of what the perfect woman looked like. Well, guess what? No matter what I did, it never happened. Do you know why? Because a Black woman is built completely different from a woman of another ethnicity. When I finally figured that out, I stopped trying.
In magazine ads and commercials, we are nothing but objects. The last thing these companies want is for us to love ourselves. We are meant to look at these ads featuring so-called perfect-looking people, and feel inferior and not good enough. They want us to think if we could just lose weight, use their cosmetics or wear their clothes, we will be better women. It is really degrading how the world demoralizes women, getting us so wrapped up in becoming the world's ideal when we should be concentrating our efforts on being an ideal daughter of God.
Look at how women are treated in some other countries. They are beneath the men and treated like they are worth even less. The worth of women in the US has been lowered as well, only it has been gone about differently.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Beauty Quotes for Today

“Beauty – in projection and perceiving – is 99.9% attitude.”
– Grey Livingston

“Taking joy in living is a woman’s best cosmetic.”
– Rosalind Russel

This one made me laugh:-)
“I hope you have lost your good looks, for while they last any fool can adore you, and the adoration of fools is bad for the soul. No, give me a ruined complexion and a lost figure and sixteen chins on a farmyard of Crow’s feet and an obvious wig. Then you shall see me coming out strong.”
– George Bernard Shaw, to Mrs. Patrick Campbell
 
Here is one of the most beautiful songs and videos ever created, and it makes me teary every time I hear or view it. I hope it touches your heart the way it does mine:-)


Have a beautiful day!

Monday, August 27, 2012

Accept Yourself

Thought for Today
That which is striking and beautiful is not always good, but that which is good is always beautiful. -- Ninon de L'Enclos 
 I think happiness is what makes you pretty. Period. Happy people are beautiful. They become like a mirror and they reflect that happiness.
- Drew Barrymore

 Something to ponder:-)

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Seeing the Real Me

Thought for Today
Beauty – in projection and perceiving – is 99.9% attitude. – Grey Livingston

These days when I have to run out early in the morning -like to the grocery store to pick up some things- I usually forgo donning the wig, put on a little makeup and wear a scarf and baseball cap. The first few times I did this I felt self-conscious, and the looks I got from others were the sympathy looks a cancer patient might get. The looks are always accompanied by a warm smile. I soon learned to shrug off the self consciousness and greet those smiles with a cheerful one of my own.
Hair or no hair, I'm still me, and I still feel beautiful. Sometimes it's hard, but I try to project that, and hopefully help others see the real me. And though I absolutely love my wigs, it's nice not having to hide behind them. I wear wigs, but I refuse to let wigs wear me.
I am just me, and I will never stop working to better the real me, so that when people look at me, my outer appearance will radiate my inner one, despite the flaws perceived by the world.
That is all any of us can do:-)

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Beautiful Gratitude

This past Sunday I attended my son's ward. During the last meeting, a lovely woman approached and asked my daughter-in-law to introduce me. She told the woman I was her mother-in-law. The woman- with a surprised look on her face- squatted down next to me and said, "Wow! You're her mother-in-law? You're beautiful and you barely look twenty-five!"
In the past I would have responded to the compliment by pointing out my flaws, but I have since learned to simply say thank you, feeling gratitude in my heart for the looks I still have, despite having no hair beneath my wigs. I try to happily embrace every kind word spoken and each compliment given, because they are always given in sincerity.
And this is my challenge to you. The next time someone pays you a compliment, instead of immediately dwelling on your flaws, thank them and embrace it. Because sometimes others see in us qualities that we never do, and those closest to us have a clearer vision and see even more:-)

Beautiful In My Eyes
Excerpt

Three years ago.
Glasgow, Scotland
Famished after a long day of shopping, we stopped in a pub to grab a quick bite before heading back to the bed and breakfast we were staying at. The place had just started getting busy when this tall, muscular, drop-dead gorgeous man walked up on the small stage with his guitar and started singing. He was amazing! My eyes immediately connected with his and stayed connected for the entire hour. I was glued to my seat. Our food was long gone and my friends had been ready to leave for some time, but their attempts to get me to leave were futile. The Scottish god and I smiled at one another the entire time. It was as if we were the only two people there and he was singing just for me. Little did I know he was the owner of the pub, as well as a few others scattered all over Scotland.
As soon as his set was done, he approached my table. He had looked astounding on stage, but up close he was walking perfection!
He greeted the four of us, but his gaze was still fixed on me. “I'm Julian Mackenzie,” he said, introducing himself, and before I could give him my name in return he asked, “Do ye believe in love at first sight, love? Please tell me ye do, darlin', because if ye should get up an' leave, ye will be takin' ma heart with ye.”
My friends sighed and giggled like school girls.
Really?” I said, smiling.
Oh, aye. I cannae let ye get awa' now. T'would be the death o me, an' ye wouldnae wan' tha' on yer conscience now, would ye?”
No, I wouldn't want that.”
Then we are in agreement. For the sake o ma health, ye must stay til I can see ye back safely ta where yer goin', and then ye must promise me the opportunity ta win yer heart for ma own.”
Girls, I think that's our cue,” my friend, Merrilyn said. “Good to meet you,” she gushed, ushering the others away from the table. “See you later, Giselle.”
Giselle, is it?” Julian said, his smile wide. “A bonnie name for a verra bonnie lassie.”
My face grew warmer. “Thank you. And you are an ummm . . . bonnie laddie . . . did I say that right?”
Och, aye. An' I thank ye, Giselle. Now, gettin' back ta ma heart, tis at this verra moment beatin' only for ye, an' if I donnae make ye mine, ye may as weel bury me because the life will be bleedin' right oot o me.”
So, are you saying I would be saving you life?”
Aye, tha's the truth o it.”
I heave a dramatic sigh. “Well, I guess I should do my part in helping to preserve your life.”
He grins. “Aye. I thank ye, fair Giselle.” He held a strong hand out to me and I placed mine in it, basking in the warmth of his smile as he closed his fingers around mine.
And that was it for me. My heart was already his and I hadn't even given him my last name. With his lightly-bearded face, brilliant blue eyes, muscular physique, and lush black hair, which was secured in a ponytail, I should have automatically assumed this was a rehearsed come-on, but the intensity of his gaze said it wasn't. We truly claimed one another's hearts that night.

Monday, July 16, 2012

No Matter What Anyone Else Thinks . . .

No matter what everyone else thinks . . .

Every good thing I do or say,
Every unspoken dream, thought or aspiration,
Every tear I cry, whether from sadness or joy,
Every hope, fear, weakness, strength,
Everything about me,
Matters.
Maybe not to the world, but that is okay.
I matter to those who matter most to me.
And that is all I can ask, because that is everything, and it is enough.

Event Reminder
Summer Signing Event


July 17, 2012 from 11-2 pm.
Lakeview Hospital
630 East Medical Dr.
Bountiful, UT
(Enter at emergency room entrance)
Come out and help us celebrate the beauty of women!

Monday, July 2, 2012

Beautiful In My Eyes Event Kick-off!

Thought for Today
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."
~ Judy Garland 

Summer Signing!!!

I'm so excited about the paperback release of Beautiful In My Eyes and the opportunity to celebrate the beauty of women, as well as Alopecia awareness! The first event is going to be a blast! On July 17th, I will be signing at Lakeview Hospital in Bountiful, Utah. There will be freebies, drawings, and plenty of chocolate! There will also be several other authors there signing their books, so if you are in the area, be sure to stop by.

Lakeview Hospital
630 East Medical Drive
Bountiful
July 17
11-2 pm.
 Enter through the emergency room doors and the room the event is being held will be straight ahead.


Come and join in the fun!

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

What Is Real Beauty?

Thought for Today

That which is loved is always beautiful. - Norwegian proverb

So, what makes a person beautiful to you?
Leave a comment along with your email address and I will send you a free e-copy of Beautiful In My Eyes! 



Beautiful In My Eyes
Signing Event
Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful!
Raising Alopecia Awareness

Purpose of Tour:
To help women with Alopecia (hair loss) understand how beautiful they are and help them to recognize their worth. The event is a self-esteem builder for all women.

I will be there signing my new novella, Beautiful In My Eyes.
There will be drawings for mini beauty baskets of products samples donated by local sponsors.
And plenty of chocolate!

Come out and help us celebrate the beauty of women!
Details coming soon.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Trials Are a Part of Your Happily Ever After

"The phrase “Once upon a time” promises something: a story of adventure and romance, a story of princesses and princes. It may include tales of courage, hope, and everlasting love. In many of these stories, nice overcomes mean and good overcomes evil. But perhaps most of all, I love it when we turn to the last page and our eyes reach the final lines and we see the enchanting words “And they lived happily ever after.”
"Isn’t that what we all desire: to be the heroes and heroines of our own stories; to triumph over adversity; to experience life in all its beauty; and, in the end, to live happily ever after?
For a moment, think back about your favorite fairy tale. In that story the main character may be a princess or a peasant; she might be a mermaid or a milkmaid, a ruler or a servant. You will find one thing all have in common: they must overcome adversity.
Cinderella has to endure her wicked stepmother and evil stepsisters. She is compelled to suffer long hours of servitude and ridicule.
In “Beauty and the Beast,” Belle becomes a captive to a frightful-looking beast in order to save her father. She sacrifices her home and family, all she holds dear, to spend several months in the beast’s castle."
Dieter F. Uchtdorf

That is one of my favorite quotes and I had to share it because it represents my thoughts for today beautifully.
We do all want that coveted happily ever after. I  know I always have! But I discovered something a long time ago: In our quest to be happy, we have to remember to seek the positive in both good and bad times-during both trials and triumphs. Because each experience we live through, overcome and learn from, brings us closer to that happiness.

In the Black culture, we women are taught from childhood that out hair is our crowning glory, and for me, it seemed my hair was my only redeeming quality when I was growing up. Neighborhood girls loved to play in my hair. Because it hung down my back, the girls loved combing and styling it in different ways.
As I grew into my teenage years and acne became my new best friend (along with the dermatologist) my only saving grace was my hair. Even some of the boys could look over the zits because my hair was coveted by half the girls in my junior high and high school. As I reached adulthood, my style changed frequently and versatile haircuts abounded, but the thick luxuriousness of my locks remained.
Then, one day years later, as I stood in front of the mirror parting the hair on the back of my head, I discovered something that brought immediate tears to my eyes.
A half-inch round bald spot.
Soon another joined it. Hair pieces took care of the problem, camouflaging completely. But before long, the top of my scalp and my hairline began to thin, and have become so bad over time, I am now forced to wear wigs full time. All that is left for me to do now is wait for the rest of my hair to follow.

For a while the hair loss depressed me. I didn't feel as attractive, even when people complimented me. I couldn't see past the missing hair. I had a problem, an internal one that needed solving. I came to understand that the only way I could solve the problem was to accept it.
And I did. Not instantly, but with time, that acceptance did come.
Now I understand that my hair was never my crowning glory. That came from inside. And once I truly learned that, I understood that my hair might have defined me in the eyes of others who possessed no true vision, but in God's eyes and those who truly loved me unconditionally, I have always been beautiful. They were just waiting for me to see that. As soon as I latched on to that vision, myself, it changed the way I saw everything, and I found my happily ever after.
I hope you will find yours as well!
 

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Welcome!

They call it male pattern baldness, but when Alopecia hits women, as well as some men, it hits hard and fast. But unlike men who are considered even more "distinguished" or "hot", balding women get no such descriptions. But guess what? We don't need it!
We are our own kind of beautiful!
I decided to create this blog in conjunction with the upcoming release of my contemporary romance, Beautiful In My Eyes and my non-fiction book of thoughts, Being Your Own Kind of Beautiful, but more importantly, I wanted to share my personal thoughts and tidbits, and help 'Alopecians' everywhere to know we are not alone. There are kindred spirits everywhere, and hair or no hair, we really are our own kind of beautiful. Hair does not define us, or our beauty.
So stay tuned for my next post:-)